Anne Frank Goes For A Swim

Anne's thoughts on the recent cartoon controversy.

Anne has been very busy lately, but I had a chance to meet with her for lunch today. She said she was having a great time working at her new job, and vows to be promoted to assistant manager by the end of the month. She also expressed dismay at the insensitivity of European newspapers to Muslims. Remarkably, she found Iranian cartoons lampooning the holocaust to be quite hilarious. Anne was especially amused by a cartoon featuring her and Adolf Hitler, together in bed. I was somewhat taken aback as she proceeded to explain to me that the holocaust as we know it did not really happen. History tells us that the Jews were killed in concentration camps. In reality, the millions of Jews that disappeared during this period were not murdered, but instead transported back to their home planet of Zion. In fact, Adolf Hitler and most of the SS officers were themselves members of an ancient secret society of men that pledged their loyalty to the first Jewish settlers from planet Zion. As you might have guessed, the concentration camps were simply spaceports for interstellar travel. Just as Ms. Frank was getting into the history of Jewish colonization of planet earth, the manager of White Castle came to our table and told her to get back to work. She promised to continue the story some other time. I can't wait to hear it!

Anne Frank has magical abilities

anne has the power to transform into almost any animal she likes. it's a side-effect of being in the war. anyway, here is a video ov her taking the form of Mr. Apgar's cat! view the video here and here.

Anne Frank INTERVIEW (Video)

i finally caught up with anne frank. i go after her with the tough questions. she is extemely hard to book. this is sure to be the interview of the year. not even barbra walters could talk to here. but i can and i do. just watch. download the video here.

AFIAAW Video Podcast

Anne Frank is Alive and Well is now a VIDEO PODCAST! this means that you subscribe to it you can have the videos downloaded AUTOMATICALLY! all you need to do it go this link:http://feeds.feedburner.com/annefrankisaliveandwell, there you will find links to subscribe by means of many differnt 'podcatchers'. the easiest way it to subscribe with itunes, all you need to do is click this link to subscribe with itunes. ITS EASY! email me if you have and questions at fartinmymouth[at]gmail[dot]com

Anne Frank - You see this name, you think dirty. (Video)

actually, she is quite a neat freak. case in point. it's been snowing like crazy up here in the northeast US. and it can be alot of shoveling. luckily anne was more than happy to give me a hand. she can't stand to see an unshoveled driveway. View the video

VIDEO PROOF that Anne Frank is Alive!

if you still arnt a believer yet just watch this video. i freakin saw anne frank in my bathroom AND FILMED IT! just watch HERE.

Finally, a historical film that isn't afraid of the truth.

I'm sure you probably have heard the news by now, but if you haven't, I'll tell you. Capote is a tremendous film. I saw it this evening with a few friends. Phillip Seymour Hoffman's acting is brilliant, as is the direction and cinematography. I would be surprised if there aren't a few Oscars in store for PSH and Co. Did I mention that my good friend Anne Frank has a small role in the film as well? Here is a screenshot.

Sometimes I feel like I am trapped in here.

Lately I've been so much time in front of the PC that I have had hardly any time to get outside. Granted that much of my time spent at the computer is done so willingly and not working, the fact remains that I don't get a chance to do much exercise. So while my computer was defragging yesterday I put on my gym shorts and went down to the fitness club. While I was there I rode the bike, ran on the treadmill, and used some of the weight machines. I found it very envigorating, to say the least. Just as I was about to leave, I noticed Anne Frank using the stairmaster. She looked very fit. She seemed pretty focused on the magazine in front of her (I think it was Vogue, but I'm not positive), so I didn't stop and say hello. I'll probably see her later anyways, since she's a member.

Anne cant get enough of those whoppers

spotted at Burger King:

click image to see larger view

Even 50 years later, Jews are still getting gas.

Wow, traffic was horrible today! As I got on the highway, there was an electronic sign that said there was an 18 mile delay. Oh no! About a half hour later, I came across another sign that said there was a 13 mile delay. Can you believe it? Only 5 miles in 30 minutes! What is this, the stone age?!? The traffic was so bad, I almost ran out of gas. So I got off the highway and went to a Mobil station. Just as I pulled in, I saw Anne Frank again. She was walking out of the building with a 20 oz bottle of Coke. I waved, but I don't think she saw me. She got in her Volvo and drove away. I wrote down her license plate, but I'm not going to publish it, just in case any Nazis are reading this.

So I "SAW" Anne Frank The Other Day...

The other day I went to the movies to see Saw II. Well, actually I went to see Weather Man starring Nicholas Cage, but it was shitty and gay so after twenty minutes I went into the other theater. I am glad I did, because I liked Saw II. The funny thing is, I didn't even see the first Saw. Anyway, as I was walking to my car, I bumped into Anne Frank, and she is doing great.